Blog - Anna Śpiewak

Polish-American actor Pawel Szajda, on the set of "Wygrany," says he feels like a person without a country

    I recently interviewed Pawel Szajda, the Polish-American actor who stars in Wieslaw Saniewski's most recent film "The Winner", premiering in Manhattan on Friday. I have met Pawel years ago at NYU's Polish Club whose organizers invited him to visit shortly after his role in the blockbuster hit "Under the Tuscan Sun," alongside Diane Lane. Pawel is American, but born to very patriotic Polish parents who have instilled the language and culture in their children. During our interview about his most recent film, Pawel said something very interesting about his Polish identity as an American.
    "There's a Polishness with an immigrant mentality that is definitely in me. In America, I feel like I may not be considered completely American, but when I go to Poland, they don't consider me entirely Polish either. It's this weird thing where you're a person without a country," he said. While I don't think Pawel is complaining about his multiculturalism or the fact that he has friends and family in both parts of the world, I do think a lot of us Polish-Americans can relate to his statement, which hits right into the core of our being. Having two ethnicities, or as in my case, traveling between two countries is not always a bowl of cherries. While my mom was figuring out where to settle down by moving back and forth, here and there, I went through five different schools in the span of three years, learned to speak both languages, but each with a slight accent. On top of it all, I was actually born in Vilnius, (which today belongs to the republic of Lithuania, but back when I was hatched, it was part of the Soviet Union.) So instead of being bilingual, which is confusing enough, I was trilingual as a child.
    I do get that question asked often, do I consider myself more Polish or American? Or more European than American (asked by other Europeans, respectfully). And I really cannot answer that question. Because in this specific matter, I like to think outside the box and create a brand new category called 'The Other,' (scary definition for those xenophobes who don't like 'the other' or anything new that makes them feel uncomfortable). But I see no other option. It is only natural that both countries you spent time in will shape you in more ways than one as an individual. And to say you are more one than the other, well, is not an option, at least not in my case. I feel equally divided between the two. I sometimes feel like Pawel, a citzen without a country.
    I will never forget when one acquaintance, who came here as a 20-something and married (for real) a citizen and was waiting to get her papers (no names will be mentioned), said to me "Ania, you don't know what we go through to have papers in this country, you came here as a child." Funny how she didn't realize that by the fact that she came here later, she actually got to enjoy her happy childhood in Poland with her loving parents. I, on the other hand, was changing schools before I even got to learn the names of my teachers, while I hardly saw my mother who worked day and night to support us. We've all paid a price to be here or be citizens with no country, as Pawel put it. Paying the Piper for something eventually good in life is mandatory. 'No free lunch' is my motto. While I definitely paid a price for my dual ethnic identity, today I am finally reaping its benefits and very thankful to all involved who gave me this opportunity, to be a citizen of the free land, and yet have the option to go elswhere. I have two passports, can go anywhere in the world, and do anything I want to do. But as opposed to a citizen without a country, I actually feel today as a citizen of the world. And boy, am I finally enjoying this ride!